colorado, slimmest mofo of the 50. brappp

i've been so lazy and have no time to write blogs anymore. eating is definetely taking up much of my schedule. 5 meals a day err... i was so used to my 3 meals a day before. so i'm taking this quick mass supplements thingy and i gotta take in a shitload of this stuff everyday. like 2 scoops at a time, 3 times a day. man i tried it for the very first time a couple weeks back n it is A LOT... i remember thinking to myself "what have i gotten myself into?..." so i'm kind of skinny (at least i think so) weighing in at 170 at 5'10". and my goal is to get to at least 185-190 by july. sounds like an impossible task... but dude i gotta work like a horse at the gym from now til july eh? i've never really wanted abs. i find them kinda weird-looking (even on other men). i just want to buff myself up you know? bigger chest, bigger legs, bigger arms, and definetely bigger ass. is there no exercise to bigger your schlong?

i wanted to blog about different stuff today. o ya its good friday tomorrow so i take the day off and get to sleep late and wake up late.

o i wanted to revive my lost paragraph (from my last post) as much as possible.

*thinks hard to remember especially after days the post was posted. and those who have not been following, trace back to the part where this shows up and it went screwy: yes ="])." style="font-style: italic;">adj. Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of either sex.*


i left off at talking to my co-worker of what she thinks of my crush. and she said "he's ok" and i was thinking to myself "D=< woman are you blind?" she's into like cheesy-looking, douchey guys who you'd know right off the bat the moment you look at him that he's a player. those guys are disgusting. sometimes truly hot but disgusting.

then i have this other crush of mine at the gym. i know right, how do i choose just one out of all those amazingly hot men? this guy... ooh he is delicious. man he's really tall, at least 6'5". he's brown-haired, real nice build, and looks to be eastern european--weird again because i'm not usually into eastern european men (altho eastern european women, yes =]). he's got a nice face too.

out of these two gay crushes, which one would i prefer? not sure... the gym crush is just knee-weakeningly hot, a little hotter than the customer crush. the customer crush is really cute and is a little more charming than the gym crush. i don't know...

call me weird but i have no desire/have sexual fantasies to see them naked. i mean if i were to see them naked i'd totally get a hard on but it's not a must to see them naked. fantasizing about having a relationship with them is more accurate. cuddling with them. intimacy over lust. THIS is wut i consider to be what my gay crush would be.

so what again is my type of guy who i fantasize seeing naked? i like to call these men the "macho-ugly" men. twinks is out of the question... sorry. "skinny muscular" guys are not exactly what i want to see in the buff. it's those beefy, hyper-masculine, douchey, athletic, meathead, blue-collar worker, dirty, (sometimes jerks but not always) who i wanna see naked. think of cave man. with less hair--not too less. that's why i dont have too many sexual fantasies of too many celebrities cuz many of them are so damn pretty. guys like dwayne "the rock" johnson--many meaty pacific islanders in general are quite the fantasy for me (tall, built, tan, black-haired and masculine. just the way i like it). football players (tedy bruschi--but he's retired. mmm half italian half filipino... =]). rugby players. heavy-weight ufc fighters. etc. dont get me wrong, these guys dont usually fall into my "crush" category. i sometime may hate them even. some of them are just so pathetic. it seems the more i'd hate the (hot) guy the more i wanna see him naked. as if seeing them naked is the ultimate form of revenge. a form of disrespect.

for example there's this guy at my work who used to be really out of shape the first time he was hired and now he's hitting the gym like crazy. he looks hot and all but he's such a cool dude with me that i dont need to see him strip down or anything. i probably would have the urge more if he was hired HOT, and not out of shape and before he's become one of my best buds.

crazy right? so let me welcome you guys now into my head. let me TRY to explain my bizarre sexuality. finally the moment i've been holding off for so long. "now our feature presentation *cues 20th century fox theme song*"


ok so i was a missing SET of paragraphs, not the ONE paragraph i mentioned. and then that part continues to the damn definition of "bisexual" i had been trying to copy paste and instead cropped off that much of my post. there you go.

"now back to the usual program"

so i realize my posts will be very well influenced by my bloggers' posts. i read them, thoughts pop up, and they finally end up on my OWN post.

i read in one of the blogs i follow that u may know your true sexuality paying attention to the porn you look at. if you look at more gay porn then you're probably gay. if you enjoy watching lesbian porn then you're probably straight. but i enjoy watching BOTH (though like i said in my last post, my gay porn is strictly solo scenes). so who knows. i dont even like penis all that much. it's all about the thing in between his cheeks--the lower cheeks. i might come out in the future as gay, stay as bi, or (as unlikely as this sounds) maybe even realize i'm actually just straight. i dont know what label i belong in nor do i yearn to find such answer. its impossible.

i also read about one of mikey's favorite fast food restaurants called chipotle. they say its actually not "fast food" per se, more like "fast casual"--better quality ingredients but prepared, well,... fast. i used to live in denver (another clue to those readers who may know me), and it originated there so ya it's a big deal. and yes it is hella fucking good. big-ass burritos that many of my ex girlfriends cant even finish at once (funny how some of them can finish my dick in one gulp and they're about the same size--well maybe not the same size hehe =P) and if anybody is thinking of going down to denver, also try TOKYO JOE'S. very similar type of restaurants (fast casual) and just as delicious but JAPANESE. very healthy too. heh, no wonder them coloradoans usually have the lowest percentages of obese people in america. i miss denver

what else do i wanna talk about? i dunno my life's been really boring. i think i had a bunch of stuff in my head a few days back that i wanted to post on here but i think i totally forgot most of them now. i think imma have a lil midnight snack now.

o if you've noticed a little of how my writing style changes from time to time is because i tend to write a lot like mikey ("internet english" if you will) on day to day basis. i dont really want to write like him because people would think i'm trying to copy him or whatever--even though thats how i pretty much write like on facebook, instant message, txt messages--but i'm trying my best to write good english here. we young'ns are like that unfortunately. take care and God bless always.