"best friends", naked college guys, and HIM

havent been here for awhile. not like any of you miss me anyways! lol

it's late at night again here. cant sleep again.

obviously i got a lot to talk about since i've been away for so long. so a lot of random stuff once again in this post...

as i was reading one of mikey's blog posts of his "real best friend" it makes me wonder why until now i am not able to call any of my friends my "best friend"...
back in denver i had a really good friend that i've known since i was 9 until we parted ways when i was 15 (15 - 9 = 6). knew for 6 years? well i still keep in touch with him now OCCASIONALLY via facebook and stuff but not so much now. he used to be really cool back when we were kids. now he's like really arrogant and shit.
here in toronto i also have one friend i'm somewhat tight with. he's like 7 years older than me though so he's more like a big brother than an actual best friend. we both love to clown around. ya we do a lot of shit together but... we're just too nice to each other. in my opinion a best friend is someone who you've gone through a lot of stuff together. even verbal and/or fist fights (i've had these fights with the friend back in denver). me and this guy? we've never had any fights together since i've known him (in 2006). by the way, this guy is the guy who is marrying my pastor's daughter that i mentioned in one of my earlier posts.
i've moved a lot. specifically, i've been to 4 different high schools, 12 schools in total. i wonder why i'm never able to make much friends at school.
both of those friends of mine were church friends. although you move schools (in the same city) it's not likely that you'll also move churches. so many of my close friends are church friends.
still on a life-long quest to find the best friend.
i want a best friend who's also into fashion and adventurous and stuff. pretty much what i like to do, obviously.

the closest thing to a best friend would have to be... my oldest sister. (maybe i'll also introduce them to you guys the way craig did. maybe).
and she is to be deported back to my country in 3 weeks... long story.

moving on.

i own these ridiculous graphic south park boxers (something like in the picture but mine's a little different) and i admit that i am kind of embarassed to wear it at the gym while the rest of the guys are wearing their boxer briefs lol
to wal-mart we gooooo

as i was browsing for porn i ran into this. anybody hear of this fratpad? i think it is absolutely ridonkulous... in a way it is kind of hot but... to me its more of curiosity and wonder rather than actual lust. honestly these guys arent the type of guys i get off to anyways--not really into young twinks. these are straight dudes (living?) in one house almost always naked and doing "gay" things together and i really think it's bullshit. but then again in some of their videos how do they keep limp while doing some other "gay" things (like naked twister LOL funniest thing ever). how much are they getting paid to do this if they are actually straight?? and wouldn't they worry if their friends caught them on a gay porn website like this? i think it is very... mind-boggling. and they have these competitions of who can come the fastest. and once they do, they blow it on each other. yuck, not a big fan of come. they're nasty. they stink. of bleach. and these "straight" guys are spewing it all over each other. for fun. wtf lol

also another random porn fact about me. i like seeing bottomless (hot) men more than fully naked ones for some odd reason. y'kno like a t-shirt on but nothing else below it?

i think i told one or some of you that i was about to tell you about my feelings toward my co-worker? the one that i said used to be fat and now has a totally bangin body? well it was at first just whatever. but then i'm starting to really like him. actually i think it's more like a girly crush than an actual i-want-you-to-be-my-boyfriend type of situation. he's filipino. he's such a joker. a dork. but his body is just... mmm... it's nice and meaty. nevertheless i still don't really want to see him naked because like i've constantly repeated to you guys, if we're tight friends it's unlikely i'd want to strip him off his clothes.
we're always slapping each others' asses (it's nothing sexual really). he's married and has kids so i don't think he's gay... but then there's always that small chance that he might also be bi! =D he's very touchy. at work he's always grabbing my arm and lightly pulling me to the side and stuff. sometimes he'd come from behind and with one arm wrapping me around my waist and i'd be trying to push him away (don't know how to describe this). once in the staff room he randomly lightly pressed me against the wall and pretended to be kissing me (like the passionate kind too. not the awkward kind) in front of one of our co-worker. of course i was trying to push him back once more pretending i don't enjoy it. they'd never think it's serious because we both are constantly checking out hot female customers and trying to get their numbers lol

so today i told him "hey i want to tell you something. it's not that i dont trust you that you won't tell anybody--because i do. just that i feel that it might... distance our friendship. i'm scared of how you'll react [can you guys blame me?]"
and he's all like giddy and like "omg dude what is it??"
i said "it has something to do with me... and a certain other co-worker"
and he's like "yo you're not screwin around with any of the girls here [at work] are you?? hahaha ok ok tell me who it is man! i won't tell nobody."
little does he know that that certain somebody else is him. so i told him "maybe i'll tell you when i'm just about to resign this june. so dude just wait like a couple more months."
and he was like "naww man just tell me now! lol why you doing this to me!? the suspense is killin me..." and he was like buggin me the whole day for me to tell him.
i kinda regret telling him this early to be honest. i can't believe he might just be the first person i'll be coming out to. i trust that he won't go around telling people this because for one, he knows that i know of a certain adulterous secret about him and another female co-worker that i can pass on to the manager, aka his wife's sister, and have him packing and on the next flight to manila. i would never do that but i know he knows i have the power to do that. and also luckily he's not the type to gossip (at least he doesn't seem so).

why am i deciding to come out to him? maybe because he has no connection to any of my close friends or family. or maybe i have too high of hopes to expect him to say "dude, i'm also bi! now let's hook up." after i tell him. =) could happen who knows. and what happens then? good question.

what's in it for the next post? maybe i want to tell you a little more of how my christianity and my bisexuality intertwine...


k g'nite guys n God bless always.