non-heterosexuality, nature vs nurture

wooo i dont think i've ever written a post this early in the day haha. it's my day off.

anybody have heard of an iphone app called "grindr"? i personally think it's kinda creepy. what if they want to kill you!? i guess this app is mainly for those who are in the closet and--i hate to use this word but--desperate? i would never hook up with a stranger in such a manner... no offense to those who read this and is using grindr but....
i dont even hook up with female strangers. i stick to people who are friends or friends of friends/family. to be honest even though i probably would find some strangers to be attractive and i would want to hook up with them but it might just bite me in the ass at the end. at least with friends or friends of friends/family i can ask my friends/family some info about them.

talk about strangers. i was on the bus the other day and i met this very charming-looking girl. she was pretty but not gorgeous. she would be category 1. i think.
(btw, about my category system. i now literally use that for every single attractive person i see "hmm i think he'd be category 3. too pretty to be category 1. fuck me, she's definetely category 2. just look at those titties.")
anywho, back to the girl on the bus. there's something about her that says she doesn't care too much about what people think but at the same time looks classy. she seemed really down to earth. i couldn't stop looking at her--not staring of course, thats creepy. i dont come across too many girls like her...
then she got off the bus and the rest was history...
:|
damn.

so this past month i havent had any pokemon at all because apparently when i downloaded the game it must've been rigged or something. remember when i said the game kept freezing but i managed to keep on going? well this time around, it just keeps freezing, period. maybe its a sign that i should buy the actual game (and start all over again T_T)

co-worker crush update! yea i'm pretty sure at this point that he'll be the very first person i come out to. kind of ironic eh? but he's a really cool dude. and i'm resigning this july to continue my schooling anyways so it's all good.... or is it? dun dun duunnn...
and i'm starting to kind of like his girlfriend too--actually his mistress since his wife is still back in the philippines. but i definetely would go for him over her. she's a cute girl but she seems kind of awkward at times. if he also liked men, wouldn't it be just horrible for me to secretly chop the both of them at the same. i wonder if i would ever do such a terrible thing in the future, go out with each partner of a couple (of a bisexual guy also) knowing full well that they're actually dating each other... "bad bad bisexual man" confusing shit. lets move on.

so as i was googling some stuff about homosexuality and bisexuality and whatnot, i came across a little "biology" of it. there's a bunch of articles about reasearches over this so if you want you can just google it.
they say the more older brothers the dude has (this excludes female subjects) the more likely he'll be homosexual or bisexual.
and i've been reading a lot of gay blogs and i notice many of them mention they have older brother(s). and i too have one older brother myself. come to think of it, this would make michael jackson really really gay lol. some say it has something to do with the brain development in the mother's womb after every male child is conceived. we're getting closer and closer to proving that non-heterosexuality (in men at least) is more "nature than nurture".
this had got me pretty curious actually because not too people pay attention to this. what do you guys think of this?

i hope to share you guys how my nephew's funeral really went down in my next post. hopefully soon.

thanks for reading guys. good nig--day! and God bless always.

what category would hunk tebow fit in?

i am finally back again
after being gone for over a week now.

my nephew's viewing was last thursday and his official funeral and cremation was the very next day. it might just be our family's most emotional 2 days in our lives. but i'll share about those 2 days in another post.


i now have a stalker.

kinda a long story. i'll tell you guys the details in another post. it's a she. an unattractive she.


also, i now have a... credit card! pretty stoked.
so a friend's friend hooked me up (of course legally) to get one approved for me. finally. this device will make my life that much easier. but at the same time with the wrong intentions, that much harder. i'm still young and single. i highly doubt i'd be abusing my credit at this point of my life.


i watched iron man 2 two days ago. i can't complain, i'm a superhero movie whore. but i personally liked the first one better. gwyneth paltrow + scarlett johansson + leslie bibb (god she was so cute in "popular") = mmm...
ahhh so many foreshadowing of the avengers movie!!! there were also some foreshadowing in the hulk movie too. so i think it's a done deal
aaahhhhh i cant wait aaahhhhhhh aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
i also cant wait for the justice league movie too. =D rumors online say they'll come out sometime in '12 or so...
i'm a nerd like that. moving on.


i have recently devised 3 attraction categories for myself. this will help myself figure who's what when i see something/body nice.

category #3:
for men, they are men who i find to be physically beautiful both face and body. yes they catch my eye but nothing more than physical admiration. these are usually celebrities.
for women, these are women who i find to be physically beautiful both face and body. they're usually so beautiful they would intimidate me so they'd be hard to date/to have as a girlfriend. these women are usually supermodels and celebrities.

category #2:
for men, they are men who i find to have physically beautiful beefy bodies (not too defined. i like em to still have some fat... how do i explain this?... refer to this naked man. or this guy) i prefer them to have "macho-ugly" faces. a brute. no pretty boys in this category.
for women, they are women who i find to have porn star characteristics. big tits, slim waist, hour-glass shaped, and nice hair. the face is usually the naughty-girl face.
these people get my blood running down there. they are people who i get off to.

category #1:
for men, they are men who i would have crushes on. they're not usually of men who i'd want to see naked. they're usually masculine. sometimes have nice bodies but still have some "cute" characteristics that can make me crack a smile just by looking at them. definetely no intimidating brutes in this category. a celebrity who might fit in this category would be... james franco? got the right face but only an ok body. how about tim tebow? definetely in this category. not macho-ugly/brute enough to fit into #2.
for women it's also the same. they'd be girls i'd have crushes on *note how i changed from "women" to "girls"* they're cute girls. not really gorgeous. nor are they always hot. girl next door cute. they can make me smile just by looking at them too. where would miranda kerr fit? uhh... i'd have to say all 3. lol she makes me smile, she's gorgeous, and i'd totally get off on her nakedness.

so where would my co-worker crush who used to be fat fit in here? he's definetely in category 1 but also just a touch of category 2. so i was browsing youtube and i ran into this guy. ever wonder how my co-worker's body looks like? very similar to this here. i kid you not, i am not exaggerating. his body looks pretty much like that but with less tattoos. i have seen him topless at the gym lockerroom! and the guy in the youtube clip would probably fit into category 1 because he's too cute to fit in 2. btw about my crush, my manager shifted him working 3am-11am. i work 8am-4m only 2 hours with him T__T

i'm gonna go crash now. it's late (as always).
g'nite n God bless always guys.

she is my best friend

as i was watching my sister's keeper i remember that my 3-year-old nephew was in ICU at that time. my sister was crying all night because the doctor said he wouldn't be able to make it for long now.

i wanted to post this separately from my previous post.

they've been telling us that ever since he was born. actually even before he was born. he's not going to live very long. they actually had suggested her to abort the baby. she is far too strong of a woman to give up that easily.

my nephew was born with no known father. my sister supposedly had been sleeping around with these 2 guys when he was conceived. one of the dudes was contactable. the other went to goodness knows where. the contactable guy was asked by the doctor for a dna test..... and it was negative. it must've been the other guy.

my nephew was born with hydrocephalus. he used to have to stay for about 3 months after he was born. that was how serious it was. physically he looks to be normal (not like on the wiki page). he's not exactly a down syndrome... he's always had some kind of mental disability. he can't even sit up straight even at the age of 3. he's only able to mumble and coo. my brother's daughter who's only a month younger than he is is already able to sing, run around, talk, pretty much everything else a normal 3-year-old can do. it kind of is sad when you compare the two.

so sunday mid-morning yesterday i got a call from my sister telling--no no, crying--to me over the phone that he's left us. she just got done giving him a bath at the hospital and... he just stopped breathing. he's in better hands now. he doesnt have to suffer anymore...

no mother deserves to lose a young child a little less than 2 months after his birthday, just days after her own birthday and a week before mother's day. he died without knowing who his dad even was. and to top it all off she's going to be deported back to her country in less than a month. it's kind of an ironic coincidence that we left our country exactly the same time and now we return to it for the first time after 13 years almost at the same time too. (i leave for my country this july. but fortunately for me it's only for a vacation, for a friend's wedding)

our family's gone through a lot of shit. this is our second death in the family after the death of my other older sister's twin sister when she was only 10 days old. we've gone through divorce, rape, abortion, in and out of jail, death, deportation, etc. to name a few. sometimes we do question Him when this will ever end? and the answer is never. i read somewhere in this kid's blog that instead of worrying about how to get out of the storm, why don't we learn how to just dance in it? there are many cliches just like this one but this one has got to be my favorite.

my sister and i have through so much stuff together than any of our other siblings. even though i didn't have any significant form of relationship with the my nephew, i loved him. how? because i love my sister so dearly it's crazy. she is my best friend.


guys i'm really sorry i had to put up such a dramatic post. i promise the next one will be much more entertaining.

if anybody who knows me is reading this post, this is a dead giveaway of who i am. it's all over our facebook right now anyways. whatever. good night and God bless guys.

i heart moobies! (not man boobies)

why do female bank tellers tend to be so attractive? i dont know but i've notice this for awhile since i've been banking with TD Canada Trust. i dont know if its different with other banks but it's definetely very curious. and also why are flight attendants usually hot? is it part of their job to keep men's eyes entertained on those long long flights?

so last night i went out with my guy friend to the movies. we at first wanted to watch clash of the titans (which was possibly the most interesting-looking movie that we both may enjoy). i love ancient greek mythology. BUT... when i went to pick the dude up at his place he apparently overslept and i had to keep calling his phone which led to us missing the beginning of the movie. i hate to miss beginning of movies, especially when we would've been 30 min. late. so we instead watched remake of nightmare on elm street. utter garbage.

btw, i honestly think that the 2000's (and into the early 2010's also) has got to be the worst decade for movies. a decade PACKED with baaaadd remakes and sequels/trilogies. they're coming out with a new scream movie i think. i really don't blame the movie producers. i blame the audience for enjoying such... fecal matters. stop with the shrek movies already! and the saw movies. and the notoriously horrendous "scary movies/disaster movie/dance flick". (but keep the x-men movies. i love x-men =]). like these flicks were super good at first but now they just get old and predictable with every new sequel. i'm a pretty big fan of the superhero movies though. ooh cant wait til the justice league and the avengers movies come out. *nerd mode: on*

hey a few nights ago i got bored and decided to rent some dvds. (btw, i used to rent movies like every single weekend last yeart but now i seem to barely have any time to watch any)
i rented... (500) days of summer, the september issue, and... my sister's keeper. and. watched them myself.

the september issue was a documentary of anna wintour, editor in chief of fashion magazine vogue, in the midst of publishing the thickest september issue in vogue history. as i was watching this i actually had a slight doubt if i'd be able to make it in the fashion industry in the future. yeesh, anna winter is cold. but you gotta be a bitch to make it to the top. i personally don't like her. not because she's a bitch. she just lacks inspiration i think. she seems too... cookie-cutter-like. too boxy of a personality. she's definetely one of those corporate puppets that put aside true art for the sake of sales. that's probably why she's only a magazine editor and not a fashion designer or a photographer. she knows how to sell "art" but not produce it.

i didn't get to watch (500) days of summer yet.

why did i rent my sister's keeper, you ask? well so i hear it was absolutely eye-bawling and i love movies that trigger my emotions. but... i wanted to cry. almost cried but i didn't. where did my heart go missing?

there was also a sobconscious (i think) reason why i rented it. read on to my next post.

some movies that made me cry in the past were...

grave of the fireflies
a walk to remember (lol)
crash
old yeller? tbh i've never watched this movie before, ever.
marley and me? almost but not quite.

so what movies made you cry? or at least almost. c'mon now, there's gotta be at least one.